My ways…

…are higher declares the Lord Isaiah 55:8-9

This single parenting gig stinks

Yup, it does. It really, really does.   I guess I didn’t realize how much I relied on my husband, and in my opinion, the better parent,  to step in with his wisdom, his firmness, his calm way of dealing with any situation.  And you know, my kids are not even difficult.  They really aren’t. Sure, they are like any other kids..they leave their clothes and dishes everywhere, they push the limits in trying to be independent, they talk back, they slack on their chores.  At the same time they are fun to be with, help me when I ask (most of the time), and in reality, they are my life line these days.

I feel like my kids are at such a critical time in their lives…at least my oldest four.  They are on the brink of adulthood with so many decisions before them…decisions that should have the help and wisdom of a godly father.  Not a mother who is emotional and not so wise!

I know lots of single mothers….actually if I think about it single mothering shows itself different in different situations.  I know single mothers from divorced situations, I know single mothers who are actually married but their husbands do not participate in the parenting, and single mothers who have never been married, and on and on it goes.   However you slice it, a single mother is a single mother.  My respect for all of you has grown immensely!

I’m finding out that the fears of a being a single parent are great.  There is no one to share the burden with.  If you fail, it is all on you.  What if my kids don’t process their grief right and end up heading down the wrong path?  what about their spiritual lives?  who’s going to make sure my sons love the Lord?  Who’s going to protect my daughters during the difficult,  insecure years?  Who’s going to make sure they marry the right man? Yeah, the fearful questions are ever looming.

And while I’m typing this I’m realizing my complete lack of faith in the Lord!  It is so easy to let the fear take over, and then despair comes next, and then self-pity.  Oh my, how I despise self-pity.  I think I will choose to not go there!  I am reminding myself again of the people who already have taken time to invest in my kids and then I remind myself of His promise:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.  And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

Romans 8:28-30

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4 Comments

  1. Sandra

    Bennett loves this verse. Your authenticity is really fantastic! Thank you and Lord I also thank You for my dear sister Nicole.

  2. Praying God gives you the wisdom you need for each moment! (James 1)

  3. I enjoy reading your blog..good for the soul.

  4. I love reading your heart, Nicole! One thing I’ve always appreciated about you is your ability to be totally open honest with yourself and others. I tend to retract in an effort to soften the blow. I hate pain of any kind, but the truth is it hurts no matter what and sometimes softening it can cause more pain in the long run.

    I’m not going to tell you to hang in there, because you will whether you feel like you can or not. But I will tell you I love you and am here for you all the way! And I know God will never abandon you and yours! He loves you tremendously, exquisitely, tenderly!

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