My ways…

…are higher declares the Lord Isaiah 55:8-9

I think it’s time….

for some family counseling.   Not that I’ve been against it…it’s more like, where do I fit it in?  I mean, counseling appointments for six people can get a bit complicated and expensive.  And I have to convince my children that this is in their best interest.   I’ve approached it with them, right after Chris died, and I received a resounding NO!.  I get that, sometimes when you are in so much pain you kinda just want to “circle the wagons” and wait it out.  There’s comfort in that…and for a time it seems like it’s gonna work.  But when the reality really becomes reality, well, that’s when you realize that you need help.   I do not want my pride to get in the way of my children benefiting from someone who could help them navigate these difficult waters of grief.  In fact, I’m convinced they are not even aware how difficult it is…which means emotions are getting ignored, and we all know that ignored pain can manifest itself in some not so good ways.  There’s something to say about being validated in your pain and being allowed to share that.   You see, children tend to get ignored in situations like this..not intentionally I’m sure.  I am surrounded by many friends who keep in contact with me daily, asking me how I’m doing, telling me that they are praying for me, visiting me, taking me out for coffee.  My children have me.  Just me.  I am pretty much the only one who asks them how they are really doing.   In a way this is understandable.  Their friends don’t know what to say, they are just kids themselves and haven’t a clue what to ask.   Adults don’t know what to say to them either because, lets face it, a teenagers vocabulary when adults are around is basically  a series of grunts with an “I’m fine” tacked on the end.

I am only one person, having to deal with the grief of six people….I think the imbalance is obvious.

Chris was a firm believer in taking advantage of the God-given gifts of people whatever they may be.  Well, in this situation it is counseling.   We reaped the benefits of counseling in our marriage a few times..everybody has those rough patches.  I cannot tell you what a blessing it was to have an objective, godly person, guide us through difficult times.

So all that is to say is that I’m asking for recommendations on good counselors.  I would prefer a christian counselor but am not opposed to an unbeliever if they come highly recommended.  My goal here is to provide an outlet for my children to grieve in a healthy way….and for someone to help us grieve properly together.

The Solace House has already been recommended..I will consider them but they are a good distance from us….

Thank you all ahead of time for your suggestions!

 A wise man will hear and increase in learning,

and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel. (Proverbs 1:5)

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4 Comments

  1. I can recommend Willa Kozlowski. Her office is at 95th and Nall and her number is 913-261-9086. She is a loving, empathetic, Christian woman.

    Good luck, Nicole.

    • thanks Angela..will look her up

  2. You’re doing the right thing! They need to be given the right tools to help them. Not just for now, but for their future life events. And you need the sharing of burdens, too. Praying you find just the right counselor!

  3. Jerry Purviance, who I’m sure you remember from CBC, has a counseling ministry. The website is http://www.gracecounselingkc.com/ I’m sure he would also have recommendations for counselors closer to where you live. I think I already mentioned to you that I went to a grief counselor for a year after my dad died when I was 17. It helped me greatly! I would recommend your sons going to a man counselor to open up to with the loss of their dad. Just a thought.

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