Home remodeling, taxes……
on my own. Very strange. These were two things Chris and I ALWAYS did together. Just two more things for me to get used to doing on my own.
Last February Chris decided that I should do our taxes on my own. He wanted to make sure I understood all the steps of gathering all the information and entering it on the H&R Block program we always used. I remember being a little irritated, doing it together was much easier. It took me all that day Saturday to get them done. A month later he was dead. Now, a year later, as tax time is here again, I’m so thankful for his insistence in making me do that. I feel a bit more confident in attempting the daunting task of decoding IRS language. One of those bittersweet memories.
And then there’s remodeling. The thing that can bring out the best and the worst in a couple…ok, maybe just the worst. My guess is that Chris and I were no different then other couples when it came to home remodeling projects. He was content to leave the house in its 80’s style decor for…well…forever. If it works why mess with it right? Me, I had a project planned for us every Saturday. And of course every project was a do it yourself project, or at least I did my best to convince him to try to do it himself. For any of you that knew Chris…well, he was just not a handy man type of guy. Which means home remodeling projects had the potential to produce a high level of frustration. His preference on a Saturday would have been to be in his study lost in any number of theology books or watching sports.
Chris and I had been saving up to do some major remodeling projects the summer after he died. I’ve added a bit to that fund and have hired someone to do some of the work. Some of the decisions have been easy to make because Chris and I had talked about what we wanted to do. Other decisions have been mine to make and that has been a bit strange. I miss having him here to share in the excitement of enjoying something that was worked hard for. I even miss him getting frustrated about stuff..how silly is that? What I really wish? I wish I could tell him’ thank you’ just one more time for taking such good care of us, and for providing so well for us.
I thought of you today, but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday and days before that too.
I think of you in silence, I often speak your name.
All I have are memories and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is a keepsake from which I’ll never part.
God has you in His arms, I have you in my heart.
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