What am I missing most?
a whole family. I really miss that.
Pictures always seem to be pulled out this time of year. Looking through them is painful and healing. Looking back over the 18 years of Christmases we had as a family makes me miss what we had. A family.
Last year was so hard. So many of you were there for us, with your gifts and in prayer. So amazing to see how the Lord has continued to heal all of us this past year. So thankful for His faithfulness.
We made some new memories last year, despite the huge hole. We kind of withdrew a bit and grieved with each other, and we made it through, and we were relieved when it was over.
David, a writer of many of the psalms, grieved over many losses. Men under his command, two sons, an infant son and an adult son. He poured out his feelings to God, admitted how badly his grieving hurt then he praised God. A good pattern for us to follow.
Christmas arrives like a pretty package full of grief triggers. This year I’m still feeling the hole, but it’s not as deep or painful. The future does not look as bleak. The are many reasons for that but the main one is my Hope in Christ has become real. At this time of year when I contemplate a babe born in a manger, a King, our King, our Messiah who lived here on earth, a real man, who suffered like we suffer, then died and rose again for me, it brings peace. Can’t explain it, it’s just there. A peace that I’m right where I’m supposed to be in this story of Redemption. A peace that passes all understanding. I’m thankful.
I long for the time when grief no longer defines Christmas for us. Learning to place the memories where they belong and forge ahead making new ones is a challenge. But I think I’m ready for it.
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
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